The Sunday after Christmas is one of the most practical Sundays of the year – Holy Family Sunday. Every one of us belonging to a family is a simple fact of life. In fact, in spending Christmas with your families, some of you may recall the adage that we can choose our friends but not our families.

Today’s first two readings demonstrate the practicality of this feast because they speak directly to the heart of family life. It does happen that in church one can observe spouses or children nudging or poking one another as these readings are proclaimed.

“God sets a father over his children; a mother over her sons”, “My son, take care of your father”, “heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness...” These are just some of the expressions in those first two readings. Now here’s the hard question: How do the members in your family stack up against what the sacred authors have written?

As a matter of fact, the creation and sustaining of family life is a pathway to holiness, to salvation, and to happiness on this earth.

However, a group of people under one roof does not necessarily create a family. Family virtues, such as those enumerated in today’s readings as well as all other virtues must be cultivated, taught, practiced and experienced.

The fact of the matter is that parents oversee the family. No matter what pop psychology, self-help gurus or modern theories of parenting may claim, the successful and fruitful family is the one in which parents take charge actively teaching, practicing and living these virtues.

Children do not come predisposed or pre-conditioned to be obedient. They need to learn obedience. Children will try the patience of parents. In fact, most children have developed their own skills at manipulating parents. Parents must never give in or give up. Certainly, they should listen to the children, hear what they have to say. But, at the end of the day, the parental decision is the final one. Sometimes, letting a child have his or her own way is the first step in the child losing his or her way.

In saying all of this, parents should not be harsh or dictatorial, even though children may sometimes accuse the parents of being harsh or dictatorial and try to put them on a guilt trip. Parenting means being a leader 24/7. It may not be easy, but it’s the right thing to do.

Children in the family have an obligation to be obedient. Obedience is their pathway to holiness and success. Obedience does not mean that they are subject to the whims of parents. Obedience means that children respect the parents who ask only what is best for their children.

To have peace and harmony in a family, parents exercise their role as parents, and children listen and observe what the parents have decided.

The practice of family life must take place in an atmosphere of love, caring, affection and mutual respect. Remember that the classic and enduring definition of the word “love” is “willing the good of the other.”

There is no doubt about it. Family life has challenges and takes dedication and work. Pope John XXIII said this: “It is easier for a father to have children, than for children to have a father.” Chew on that one for a while. The Holy Father’s phrase works also when “father” is changed to “mother.”

Family is the natural order of life, but being in family takes work, dedication and solidarity of purpose. Families are created. They do not just happen automatically. Perhaps this prayer can help us understand better the roles in family life: Lord, help us realize that the most valuable treasure we have is one another. Help us understand that being a mother, a father, a son, or a daughter is not easy. We must work at it. Help us make just one simple resolution for the year ahead: to do, each day, a little bit more in our families, a little bit more than we think we can. AMEN.